Some days it is hard to see the gifts the Lord has given us. I don't know why? We get in ruts, things overcome us, we compare our lives to others or our kids to others. I could go on and on....
I have struggled this last week seeing my blessings. It sounds stupid as I write this because I sound like a spoiled child. I have so many blessings (gifts) but for some reason when I go to write them down I feel a little fake. Maybe because I am not looking at them as gifts. But, they really are gifts from my Jesus so I need to count them. I need to look past the temporary blindness and see what He has given me.
Our family had our very own experience of Mutual of Omaha on our back porch. A couple of weeks ago a bird family made a nest on our back patio. We watched as the momma bird sat on her three blue eggs. Daily we would check. We would see both momma and poppa bird near by, always in sight. About 2 weeks ago, one egg hatched. I called "it" a him. Not sure why? Anyway, we watched the momma bird feed and nurture the baby. The poppa bird stayed close for protection. We, as a family, were held captive from our own back porch. Every time we went outside the birds would swoop close and go for our faces. There was more screams from the back yard! I am sure our neighbors thought we were nuts! Anyway, we continued to watch daily for our baby bird to get up and get a worm from his momma.
On Sunday morning, my husbands wakes me up at 7 am, telling me the baby bird is leaving the nest. I jump up, groggy eyed, to look out my bedroom window. Sure enough the baby boy had flown, all by himself to the fence. HE WAS LEAVING!!! His momma was in sight. Talking away. By now, I am sure he was saying "I know mom!" Geesh! I can do it! Anyway, momma kept talking away. Telling him this is how you get food. She would fly to the embankment, dig for a worm, go back to the fence and give it to him. The entire time she is talking away to him. It cracked me up. Finally, the baby boy flies down to the embankment, digs for his food and stayed for a few more minutes AND THEN.....HE WAS OFF! Just like that! We have our backyard back. We have more room. It is quiet. No commotion on the back porch. Peace and Quiet. Wow!
Am I living this right now? In 18 days, I will drive my boy down to college. The whole time I will be talking... actually, I have been talking for 18 years! He will be saying to me " I know, mom!" "I can do this" and then I will leave him there. All by himself. Well, with about 500 other kids but without ME!!!! And he will be OFF... onto a new adventure, without his momma. Yes, without his momma. There will be exciting days, and hard days, and sad days, and I won't be there.
This is where I have to trust that all that teaching, praying, bible reading, lessons, lessons and more lessons will pay off. That my Jesus will not ever leave him alone and that He will always be there for my boy. And more important than anything that my Jesus is his Jesus!
I will come home to a quiet house, less commotion (Let's be real, I still have my girl), more quiet days, no fighting amongst siblings....just the 3 of us.
It will take time to get used to having our porch back. It will take time to get used to having my boy gone. By the time I get used to it, he will be home with a bunch of laundry and a hungry mouth to feed. And I will be glad to do his laundry and make his favorite meal.....
Counting on....
611. I am a mom.
612. Being my boy's momma....
613. Bittersweet days...
614. Trying to enjoy every day with him.... not always easy...
615. God's lessons through the sweet bird family...
616. Watching the birds...
617. God's creation...
Blessings,
Kim
